Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
