I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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