That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
