I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
