Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize