You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
