am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So squirting runs in the family.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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