Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
COCAINE IS GR8
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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