sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
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Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
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She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...