WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?