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the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Moan for me like Helen Keller
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
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