My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I don't think brook has ever known best
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
