I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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