I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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