do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
