it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She said her name was "party"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
