How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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