There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Randomize
