We're facebook friends in real life
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
