You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
