thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize