4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
