Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
