her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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