who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
