Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
