he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
