a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
