i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
