I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
