I just saw a hot homeless man
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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