How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
