This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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