Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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