did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
