Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
