But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
