I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
