I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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