was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
