I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Mom said you looked used
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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