apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
