She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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