all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
