mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
