Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
