Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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