I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
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you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
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Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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