It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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