So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
