so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize