This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Randomize
