After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
