I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
