I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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