What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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