I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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