At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
