does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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