No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
