all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
