I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
