I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
