Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
